Turtle, Jan 24 2007
I live as a failed experiment, a defect within society. To justify my claim, you need to understand what people were made to do. A tool is defective when it is blunt and can not fulfill it's purpose. Thus, a person is defective when it can not fulfill it's purpose. There is no universal purpose for people, a person defines it's own purpose. Your belief in what your purpose is, is neither right nor wrong. Just as my belief in what my purpose is, is equally as right, and equally as wrong; People are meant to live for each other. They are meant to build each other up and love each other in order to make the best of their own lives.
There are those who easily fulfill this purpose, for the only reason in that fate determined that this person would live easily. Just as some cows produce fresher milk than others.
I can't escape the cold truth of this world: "Survival of the fittest." If you were born beautiful, charismatic, and lovable, you thrive. If you were born ugly, socially inept, and unlovable, you die.
None the less, I will be a survivor, because of hope. Hope that one day...
I will learn to thrive
Life... and Poker
Turtle, Jan 15 2007
I've always been told that life is about loving and having friends that to/for love. I've never experienced such. When I think I do, a few months later reality strikes and realize that it isn't love. The more someone gets to know me the more they back away from me.
Poker is a nice outlet for despair. It makes me feel alive and gives me some joy, and almost even, a purpose. And I can guarantee that poker will never turn it's back on me.
"I needed to talk to someone, and I was alone. This is my habitual condition, by choice... or so I tell myself. Mere acquaintanceship leaves me unsatisfied, and few people are willing to accept the burdens and risks of friendship as I conceive of it." -Holden Caulfield The Catcher in the Rye